Tom and Kirsty are on the right track with their house-hunt. Lynda is on the wrong track about tomorrow’s celebrity.

Radio Times: Tom and Kirsty are celebrating. Meanwhile, Brian hits rock bottom.

Characters: Adam, Brian, Jennifer, Kirsty, Lynda, Pat, Tom

• A man can’t sleep on an empty stomach and Brian has been having a thin time for several days now. Jennifer is unsympathetic; she points out that all he has to do is agree to her new kitchen. He insists he will not be rail-roaded.
• Pat is astonished that Tom and Kirsty have decided to reserve a plot on the new estate; there is a significant outlay, which they will lose if they change their minds. Tom and his two-wedding-dress bride are not likely to do that, are they? Don’t they want something with more character? No, they don’t have the time for a refurbishment project. They think mum might have shown a smidgen of enthusiasm.
• Inspecting the crops with Adam, Brian admits that his hunger makes it hard to concentrate. The chocolate bar that Adam conjures up from his pocket is eagerly devoured.
• Back in the antiquated kitchen, Brian brings matters to a head. He caves in completely, with no negotiations over the absurd list of fittings, indeed he adds a couple of demands of his own, and without darkening the doors of The Bull’s restaurant all week; he even agrees to apologise for the remarks he made about the kitchen designer Kingsley. Wimp!
• In The Bull Lynda shows more enthusiasm for Tom and Kirsty’s house decision than did Pat. She is still in the dark about the identity of tomorrow’s mystery visitor, indeed she is barking up completely the wrong tree. A word in your ear “Wiggo”: if anyone offers to show you the view from the roof, be very wary.