The Borsetshire Beefcake calendar is shot and includes an unauthorised extra photo.

Radio Times: There is a rustling in the bushes.

Characters: Bert, Eddie, Edward, Fallon, Hayley, Jennifer, Kirsty, Mike, Tim

• The day of the calendar shoot has arrived and it is rather chilly, nevertheless the whole year is to be shot today. Mike protects his modesty with milk churn, ignoring Eddie’s taunts that a milk bottle would suffice; Eddie will be on his tractor with a grease gun and Bert has his wheelbarrow at the ready. Alas, Robert has cried off; when it comes to light that the good doctor is not actually taking part, he really has no choice and Jennifer applies as much pressure as anyone.
• Kirsty can guess why Hayley wants to talk to her. Of course she is annoyed with Tom for what he did and although she loves him she wants to see him crushed. Kirsty is initially not convinced but Hayley assures her that, with Lauren in on it too, the plan will work.
• Fallon and Ed are bent on making some money by selling holly and they just happen to be picking it on Hayden Berrow. This just happens to be where the ensemble photograph for the calendar is being shot and Fallon just happens to have a camera in her rucksack.
• As they wait to get their kit off, Eddie tells Mike that he and Joe will be racking off the cider tomorrow night at Grange Farm, after the builders have gone home. Finally all is ready; the twelve male models, each equipped with a red hat, a santa beard and a strategically placed sprig of holly are photographed simultaneously from the front by Jennifer and from the rear by Fallon.
• Back at Nightingale Farm, Kirsty gets her final instructions about forcing Tom to declare such love for Lauren that she must come back. Hayley is confident that, because Lauren was clearly enjoying the show, she will grab the chance to come back and get even with him. It could work; there is only one way to find out.