The pantomime proves to be even worse than anticipated but Brian revels in obsequious press coverage.

Radio Times: Brian sets out his vision and Eddie comforts the cast

Characters: Brian, Christian, Eddie, Jennifer, Kirsty, Lynda, Neil

• Journalist Christian comes to Home Farm to interview Brian. Jennifer is thrilled, and goes into overdrive trying to impress Christian, who fawns on Brian’s every word. Brian emphasises his natural humility whenever possible – why, he and Jennifer are even going to the village panto this evening. Brian is quietly delighted when Christian mentions follow-up interviews and photoshoots. They move to Brian’s office which Jennifer has tidied for the occasion, and Brian takes the opportunity to mention how important and close his family is. Can this be Kate by any chance? Jennifer positively purrs with delight. What a lovely start to 2018.
• At the Village Hall the very reluctant cast put on their costumes. Eddie has brought a bottle of Croatian Brandy to fortify them. It does rather more than that where Neil is concerned, and he has difficulty speaking clearly. Up goes the curtain and on comes Lynda, ad-libbing madly. Brian wonders if there actually two different performances going on.
• During the interval, Jennifer has a conversation with Nic, who reveals the truth about the shoot. Jennifer repeats the details to Brian, urging him not to reveal his sources when he makes things right with Will.
• The pantomime limps to a close, to the immense relief of all but Lynda, who tries to organise a final curtain call. Weak and unenthusiastic applause follows. That was a disaster, declares Eddie. Two more nights, sighs Neil. We’ll need a bigger bottle. There isn’t enough alcohol in the world to get us through that, says Kirsty.