Radio Times: Tim offers tea and towelling.Characters: Alice, David, Ed, Eddie, Janet, Joleen, Lynda, Mike, Tim
- It is the day of the village fête. Mike is trouncing all comers at arm wrestling. Tim decides against it; he must help Janet on the dunking apparatus.
- Lynda has the first go at sending Janet for an early bath and, by a fluke, succeeds; she is most apologetic. Eddie misses, perhaps distracted by Alice who is asking to see his car Death Wish and checking that their deal is still on! Ed graciously gives up his turn to Alice.
- Who else but Lynda could give the commentary on the Grand Prix. The cars will race two at a time over 10 laps. M-egg-atron versus Stable Stallion first, then Meat-eor versus Bull-dozer, then Pegasus (Alice’s car) versus Death Wish.
- With all the excitement elsewhere, Tim and Janet have the Tea Tent to themselves. Apparently Siobhán is still telling fortunes, last seen with Brian Aldridge. Janet will be denied the pleasure of seeing Tim dunked, she has to dash.
- The third heat is under way and, as Death Wish emerges from the pits, its secret weapon is revealed – spikes! In the general confusion, which Lynda describes as more like a war than a race, Pegasus emerges the winner. The Grundys lodge an appeal because Ed was unsighted in the mêlée.
- Mike is putting his strength to use, repairing the over-worked dunking apparatus; he has had some tough arm-wrestling opponents and is exhausted. But there is one more challenger. Joleen, rather hot from line dancing and wearing a dampened T-shirt, suggests that he is scared of losing to a woman. Poor Mike, he doesn’t know where to look; she wins in 18 seconds.
- Tony has made his decision: the Grundys are disqualified. Pegasus came first, M-egg-atron second and Meat-eor third. Alice wants her £2.50 and David wants his £20 but Eddie says they can whistle for it, he is not paying.