Brian comes home to good news and bad news.

Radio Times: Secrets and lies.

Characters: Brian, Caroline, David, Debbie, Jennifer, Shula, Siobhán

• The meat manager is at Home Farm today and very knowledgeable and thorough he has turned out to be. Debbie has spent all morning ‘talking up’ Hassett Hills lamb – without much help from a very apologetic but dopey David. Even with a sleep-in (Neil did the early milking) David was dead to the world and Ruth had to shake him awake! But he’s looking forward to Jenny’s roast lamb for lunch.
• Shula and Caroline are thinking ahead to the Barn Dance and wondering whether to ask Jolene about a band – as long as she doesn’t suggest Dross is the heartfelt cry from Shula! Alistair made her listen to them at The Bull last night because he thinks they’re good and it shows what young people can do if the have something to focus their energies on! Shula mentions that Fallon gave a long speech about the plight of squirrels (“Rats with good P.R!” moans Caroline) and goes on to compliment Caroline on her new hair colour (“Talking of rats – !” she laughs). It’s too subtle for Oliver yet to have noticed because he’s so obsessed with his own hair, or lack of it! Now that his locks are not quite so flowing, Caroline has booked him into her hairdressers for a really good cut, which should take years off him!!
• Jenny, of course, is doing wonders preparing her puds. She’s obviously on first names terms already with Mr Meat Manager (‘Steven’) who has shown great interest in her local history project as well as liking what he has seen of the meat set up. Pity Brian will miss him – a problem with his Hungarian project has necessitated taking a later flight. Oh, yes? Just how much longer can he manage to get away with it?
• Brian, of course, has done wonders in Hungary with his spuds! All went to schedule and he was able to catch an earlier flight! Siobhán asks him all about it but he really only wants to know how things have been with her – or should that be whether the deep water he’s in has got any deeper in his absence?
• Debbie and Jenny are sure that the day has gone well (even though David did fall asleep!) and that Steven was impressed on all counts. They know Brian will be pleased – and hope that it will take his mind off the ‘something on his mind’.
• Siobhán tells Brian that Elizabeth knows about the pregnancy but not the identity of the father. He calls her stupid, is repetitively incredulous and aghast at the implications – then alternately offers financial support and weak apologies, much to her growing infuriation. She releases a tirade of emotional grievances about how things are for her in the situation, how lonely she feels, how Tim has been badgering her about the divorce, how she can’t walk away from it, how much she wants this baby, how she needs peace and quiet. Brian, selfish as ever, is sure that the sensible way to sort out the divorce quickly and quietly is not to mention the ‘other complications’. “I bet you are!” retorts Siobhán. “Let’s just hope I don’t do anything stupid then. Pregnant women are so unstable, aren’t they? Who knows what I may do?”