Costumes for the Dinner Dance are chewed over, his wife’s attempt at rekindled romance puts Tim off his food again, and Brian’s hunger is not as desperate as Siobhán’s.

Radio Times: A romantic dinner for two?

Characters: Brian, Elizabeth, Janet, Jennifer, Siobhán, Tim, Tony

• Elizabeth is browsing in the costume-hire shop, and Siobhán updates her on her return last night from the business trip – it sounds as though the object of any special effort she was going to make was at a meeting. They discuss possibilities that fit Elizabeth’s idea of stunning, Titania being one of them – then Nigel would be Oberon, NOT Bottom! In the absence of devil’s horns or sackcloth, Siobhán decides not to try anything on, but follows on from Elizabeth’s suggestion to Tony (who has called in, no doubt in his overalls, for a brochure) of giant vegetables, that Pat could be a leek and he could be the plumber and he thinks it’s a great idea!! Siobhan’s incredulity is tempered by the appearance of Jennifer who is looking for sexy costumes that will definitely depict her and Brian as a couple. One of her suggestions (sorry, missed it!) is quickly corrected by Siobhán, as it would be man and mistress rather than man and wife
• Tim and Janet’s professional conversation ends with her telling him that she is thinking of leaving soon for a job in Norfolk. She assures him that this decision is nothing to do with him, just that she is due for a change. She listens to Tim’s woeful account of his and Siobhán’s attempts at talking, his wondering whether they should be the ones to move away, whether a new start would work. Tim may feel a little consoled by her gentle presence but Janet’s done nothing for her own state of mind.
• Elizabeth has helped Siobhán with her indecision about what to feed Tim this evening – lamb. She wants to know if the ‘other guy’ is out of the picture and Siobhán admits to still missing him even though she has managed to stop herself from phoning him. When Tim arrives home, the sight of candles, wine, etc. makes him lose his appetite (again!) – Siobhán timidly (or is it seductively?) suggests delaying dinner – they could well you know but for Tim it’s still a definite no no – too soon, he declares.
• Pat and Tony are at Home Farm for supper. Jennifer is elsewhere in the house taking the opportunity to show Pat the latest snaps from South Africa while Brian and Tony enjoy their aperitifs. Pat has definitely put her foot down over the leek/plumber idea and decided upon Nell Gwynne and Charles 1 – she wants to look alluring. No, Tony won’t have to wear tights – but stockings says Jenny as she pops into the room! She and Brian are ‘sorted’ – Anthony and Cleopatra. When the phone rings, Jenny and Tony leave Brian to answer it, thinking the call is for Alice, but it’s Siobhán, in a desperate state, much to Brian’s annoyance (and probably, relief – seeing that the room is empty). She pleads to see him, Tim doesn’t want her, her life is falling apart, his (Brian’s) is normal (she tells him angrily) and even after ten days of separation, it ISN’T working! Brian puts her firmly in the picture that it’s a really bad idea, he can’t (won’t) see her, but will call her later in the week.