Nettles, more nettles, in fact nothing but nettles!

Radio Times: The heat is on at The Bull.

Characters: Bert, Caroline, David, Eddie, Jazzer, Jolene, Kirsty, Roy

• It is the day of the Ambridge Nettle Eating Tournament at The Bull – whatever next!?
• Caroline is persuaded to stay, against her better judgement. She confides to Roy that Alistair has today fielded a succession of calls from Lynda to check animal-related facts appearing on the Message Board – presumably done while on duty at Grey Gables; a little chat would be appropriate.
• As for the competition, to cut a long story short, Tom has cried off for Glastonbury preparations, Roy and Jazzer give up quite early (much to bookmaker Eddie’s discomfort), Kirsty is eliminated when Eccles the peacock runs off with some of her nettles, Mr Booth’s nephew is disqualified for using ice to anaesthetise his mouth (why not?), Mike makes a grand show of eating another whole length all at once to demoralise David and both then call it a day. But wait. Bert is still going and eventually comes out the winner. Eddie is delighted that the favourite has not won and his offer of free beer for Bert all week saves the assembled company from being bored to death by Bert showing off his newly acquired knowledge of nettles. Fallon, strike up the band!