The fete is a general success, although the PA system causes a few problems … as does the axe-thrower!

Radio Times: Revelations at the fete.

Characters: Clarrie, Eddie, Hayley, Jill, Lizzie, Lynda, Peggy, Ruth, Sid, Susan

• The fete is in full swing and practically everybody is there except Shula who is preparing to spend her birthday en route to Normandy – probably a smart move. Lynda is much in evidence on the public address system.
• The raft race being mostly out of sight of the Village Green, Lynda has arranged a series of commentators equipped with mobile phones but is not best pleased to receive a call from Robert to say that he is in the stocks rather than at Edric’s ditch.
• Lizzie confides in Susan about the latest twist of Julia’s enthusiastic entry into grand-parenthood and in turn Susan reveals the secrets of Julia’s tape, by which she already knows that a millennium baby was not planned. All of which would have been fine had it not been conducted within range of the public address microphone, which Lynda had left switched on.
• Aethlfleyd’s Maidens would not mind being beaten by the Sea Cadets or the Young Farmers but not by the Bull – no way. In fact they come second to the YF team, of which William is a member. Clarrie is doubtful about him being on the receiving end of you-know-who’s late offer of a massage for the winning team.
• Finally there is Thor the axe-thrower: wearing a blonde wig with a long beard and not so good looking close to. Clarrie thinks that his beer gut looks all too familiar! His aim is not too good either.